27

In times of utter despair and you find yourself in near-clinical depression, you tend to yearn for beautiful things you might have had or missed. Oftentimes, people with sleeping disorders like me, struggle to achieve that state of bliss by merely hoping that all those things could at least come true or come back. Only, since we've all missed that bus at least once in our lives, we end up sleeping with tears or waking up with a big headache.

I am 27 now. Although I don't necessarily regret all those things that happened to me, I surely do miss all those things that have made me a better person now. So here's a list of 27 uberrantings, musings, hopes and misses that have troubled me for the last week. Argh.

I MISS:
1. That good, intimate and sincere kiss.
2. Being taken care of.
3. Celebrating stupid monthsaries, anniversaries and other dates.
4. Being harassed looking for that special gift to a loved one.
5. Movie marathon or not arguing over a Foreign language film.
6. Going out-of-town with that special one.
7. Taking a bath/shower together.
8. Dining intimately and sweetly in a fine restaurant.
9. Engaging in couple sports.
10. A big hug after a day of stress.
11. Exchanging sweet nothings.
12. Discussing future plans with a hope of lasting forever.
13. A really, really HOT sex, not that 'let's just get this over with' kind or 'i have to get up early tomorrow ' sex.


I HOPE:
14. That Hell is non-existent, because this boring and depressing Summer is endless, it resembles Dante's Inferno.
15. That my life change its course, its getting pretty lame.
16. That my bird-brained boss dies, for her sheer stupidity doesn't have a place in our society.
17. That I find purpose as soon as possible.
18. That Manny Pacquiao stops his obvious profiteering, because boxing has become more of a gamble than a sport.
19. Somebody kills off GMA and all those traditional politicians and bureaucrats, because our politics is getting nowhere, more and more people are leaving the country.
20. That the 2010 Elections pursue.

I LOVE:

21. House, 30 Rock and How I Met your Mother; because they consume most of my time this Summer.
22. The Global-Warming-induced rains, because they preoccupy our local news, instead of delving so much on the Mar Roxas pathetic profession of love to Korina Sanchez.
23. Century Tuna, for providing me with decent food, when budget and limited choices in the menu take a toll on my meals.
24. How my company wastes energy, as we senselessly report for VL. With free air conditioning and internet, not to mention bonding time with friends in our offices, they really do us a big favor this time.


I'M PUZZLED:
25. With how a company (that brags to the world world its sense of community) manages to be oblivious despite its corrupt and decaying culture/system/people.
26. With my own stubbornness, that I still stick with this predicament. The same predicament that has fooled me for months and caused me so much heartaches.

I STILL WANT:
27. To believe -- that my future is not a waste, that I will be happier in the next coming months, that life for the Filipinos will be promising with its kind of democracy, that love is not just a chemical reaction to pass on the genes, that I will be a better and a wiser man this time.


I know my list is a bit cynical. I just hope my 27th year yields far-convincing proofs that my life is indeed worth living.

MY FAIRLY ODD AND IRONIC SATURDAY

I woke up this morning with a weird jolt.

When I usually start Saturday with a heavy dose of caffeine and nicotine, this morning, I watered my plant. It was really strange, because 'watering my plant' is not part of my routine. I brewed up some coffee and munched on my chocolate-chip banana loaf, given by my student last Thursday, and browsed through my CDs.

While Marvin Gaye, The Temptations, Gladys Knight and the Jackson 5 (yes, Motown) lured me in my morning bliss, I got this strange epiphany (or whatever you may want to call it) -- I want to start an informal school in the province, for the out-of-school youths. Strange. Really. Because such thought usually comes whenever I wanted to calm myself, and at that moment, I wasn't even stressed out. It just came to me out of the blue and I sincerely hoped to make it a reality.

And then bang! I received my first text. Whatever great feeling I felt since I woke up just vanished, as I entered the pin code on my cellphone. Damn technology.

No matter how hard I tried to recall that morning bliss, I just couldn't anymore. My mind got cluttered up by reminders of chores, work stuff, dental appointment and the need to clean up my apartment. Sigh.

So I started de-cluttering my place. I returned the DVDs in their right cases, including those I bought because of the Awards Season and pumped up the volume of my speakers. With the right mix of cigarettes, music and chocolates, I got all the work done, including my formerly-tobacco-smelling comfort room.

How I wish I didn't have to read that text message. It completely ruined my daydreaming, I hadn't experienced one, for a long time maybe because I keep burying myself at work. I have turned into the mechanical prick I've always hated, and I honestly lost track of my ideal nature.

Daydreaming was one talent I've always been proud of, because I was really good at it. I could hold more concerts that U2 and Eraserheads combined, build more properties than Donald Trump himself, fuck more people than Jeff Stryker, start a more promising tomorrow than Barack Obama, wage a more successful revolution than Che Guevarra and pose for more pictorials than Akihiro Sato.

That damn text message was the spoiler, and it only read "Good Morning".

Ironic huh.

Nice survey...



Bands // Song Titles

Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:: Coldplay
Are you female or male:: A Rush of blood to the Head
Describe yourself:: X & Y
How do some people feel about you:: Warning Sign
How do you feel about yourself:: Yellow
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:: Square One
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:: The Hardest Part
Describe where you want to be:: Amsterdam
Describe what you want to be:: The Scientist
Describe how you live:: Speed of Sound
Describe how you love:: Sparks
Share a few words of wisdom:: Don't Panic

Fill out this survey yourself
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I HATE IT WHEN PSYCHOLOGISTS ARE RIGHT.

I took the damn test, and I simply laughed while reading the results. It's like tailored and conspired.

Here it is:

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.


Take the same quiz, and find irony.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx