For you: Do not even try to react to this. Im happy with what we are, and with what we have. Please don't take this against me, I am OK. Sometimes though, I feel human and not devoid of any hurt.
I'M CHASING PAVEMENTS
Whenever you're with him, I feel like the world is devouring me alive. But whenever Im with you, the world seems to halt.
This is the most stupid I've been. I perfectly know and understand your situation, but I still continue with this. I even unreluctantly agree to be with you all the time. I refuse to think whenever Im with you, and although it's insulting, I swallow all my pride, just to at least see you.
So this is what it feels like to be the 'other guy'. Jealousy immediately seeps in at the mention of the boyfriend. You want to assert yourself, but you cannot, because you're simply the No. 2, (or number 3?) And yet, despite all knowing and hurt, you still continue with the madness. Because if you refuse to give in to the flow, you might end up in that ditch again, all broken and blue.
I really don't know what's in store for me in the future. All I know is that Im very much happy with you, every second of it. I try to rationalize, but all seems futile, because the more I resist it, the more I get drawn.
I want to believe when you told me you're about to fall as well. It gave an inch of hope, I must admit. I want to assume you're really happy when we're together. I actually wish you will never leave, that you will stay until the morning. That I could show you even more how much you mean to me, even in my simplest ways.
But reality seems constraint as well, because you simply can't leave him. A fact more insulting, because it accentuates the truth that I can't measure up with him. That I will forever be the second or one of the other choices. I dont even want sometimes to bring up this sad fact, for it may tear me apart.
Im taking it all in, I trying to be more numb. Im trying to act naturally. I even actually pretend that Im the only one. I want to believe that there's something better in store in the future. Im chasing pavements although they seem to lead nowhere.
I guess that's just how I fall in love. Im simply stupid and blinded. That I humbly accept the painful reality that you will never be mine 100%. That I am content already with what you give, because I perfectly know, hanggang doon lang ang kaya mong ibigay.
And I embrace it whole-heartedly.
I'M CHASING PAVEMENTS
Whenever you're with him, I feel like the world is devouring me alive. But whenever Im with you, the world seems to halt.
This is the most stupid I've been. I perfectly know and understand your situation, but I still continue with this. I even unreluctantly agree to be with you all the time. I refuse to think whenever Im with you, and although it's insulting, I swallow all my pride, just to at least see you.
So this is what it feels like to be the 'other guy'. Jealousy immediately seeps in at the mention of the boyfriend. You want to assert yourself, but you cannot, because you're simply the No. 2, (or number 3?) And yet, despite all knowing and hurt, you still continue with the madness. Because if you refuse to give in to the flow, you might end up in that ditch again, all broken and blue.
I really don't know what's in store for me in the future. All I know is that Im very much happy with you, every second of it. I try to rationalize, but all seems futile, because the more I resist it, the more I get drawn.
I want to believe when you told me you're about to fall as well. It gave an inch of hope, I must admit. I want to assume you're really happy when we're together. I actually wish you will never leave, that you will stay until the morning. That I could show you even more how much you mean to me, even in my simplest ways.
But reality seems constraint as well, because you simply can't leave him. A fact more insulting, because it accentuates the truth that I can't measure up with him. That I will forever be the second or one of the other choices. I dont even want sometimes to bring up this sad fact, for it may tear me apart.
Im taking it all in, I trying to be more numb. Im trying to act naturally. I even actually pretend that Im the only one. I want to believe that there's something better in store in the future. Im chasing pavements although they seem to lead nowhere.
I guess that's just how I fall in love. Im simply stupid and blinded. That I humbly accept the painful reality that you will never be mine 100%. That I am content already with what you give, because I perfectly know, hanggang doon lang ang kaya mong ibigay.
And I embrace it whole-heartedly.
posted by Twisted at 5:43 AM
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