ISSUES

Im full of issues. I know it sounds so magazine-like, but yes, I will admit, Im full of contradictions and constraints.

Issue # 1: The Precious Mornings
I consider my mornings as my Personal time. When I was younger, I used to just stare blankly and sip my coffee. Now that Im all grown up (I hope), I still consider my mornings as my personal space, an opportunity to think and plan the things for the day thoroughly and silently. I just want to be myself, and enjoy solitude. I know, it doesnt really sound weird, but you haven't really heard the rest. Things dont just stop there.

Every morning, I will go on about my usual routine - coffee and some other knick-knacks, like oreo. I will smoke, and enjoy the simple marriage of my non-extravagant pleasures, because they are all oriented into doing an important event - the CR dilemma-slash-spectacle. I usually dont want company during this time of the day, but sometimes we just have to live with it. It's of course, very difficult for me, because it will only mean one thing - pressure. I feel pressured that there is someone right there, enjoying my precious time. And that mere presence will not actually disrupt, but alter the balance and harmony of my usual routine. That for me, is Pressure and will have a great impact on...

Issue # 2: The CR dilemma-slash-spectacle.
My CR time is the 2nd most precious. It's my ultimate and sole moment for myself and for my universe. When Im there, I'm totally uninhibited. I can do things freely and non-guiltily. I am free on my thought, to wander incessantly over things that seem impossible. And I am alone. It's the only place where I can be truly alone.

If my second issue gets distracted, then Im all irritated the rest of the day. I can only redeem that moment when I finally go home, after work, and Im alone then again. Nobody will meddle my CR moment, even if I stay there for 30 minutes.

Issue # 3: The Uninterrupted 10 PM-Chill out
Starting 10 pm, I should be getting ready to sleep. This is the time when I start to brush and clean up, so that by 11pm, Im all set up for dozing off. People say Im all irate by this time, but I have valid and concrete reasons. By 10 pm, to complete that 6-8 hours of ample sleep, one must be getting ready for tomorrow. Or else, things will start to bite you off in the ass by the next morning - like pimples on your face, eye bags with matching dark circles and red eyes, and headache that will forever ruin your day. I just want to keep things in order. See?


>> to be continued.