COLD TURKEY

I've finally quit smoking. Err, well, not completely, but I'm really trying.

From scoring almost a pack a day, Im now down to 1-2x per diem. It's really difficult, because I've been killing myself for 9 years now, and all of a sudden, Im calling it quits.

During the first week, I must say, I really felt sick. I was so nauseous. I got colds and cough. I was literally weak. But one may ask, why quit, when smoking has always entailed coolness and dirtiness? Well, it takes a birthday and a budget constraint to do that. Hehehe. Seriously, I've been thinking a lot lately about really stopping this filthy habit. And then came my partner's birthday and asked that this be my gift. So I caved in. And then followed by the fact that I am in fact, killing other people through my second-hand smoke, it really scared the hell out of me.

Besides, it goes against my ideals of becoming an environmentalist (naks). Come to think of it, if I quit now, I will be helping out Mother Earth get rid of all these toxic gases in her atmosphere. Statistically, I am lessening global warming and pollution rate by 1:100000000000000000000000000000000. See? I am now, an aide to preserving nature.

Actually, I miss smoking. I miss holding that little piece of death in my fingers. The way the pollutants creep through my lungs and burn my air sacs is very much disheartening. I would really kill for that. So far, Im doing good. Before or after work, I light up one, just to eliminate the work stress. And that's it. Oftentimes, when the urge is indescribeable, and the salivation is beyond control, I eat. Although now, the problem I must forsee is being overweight or having a ridiculous belly.

From this I learned, I am now evolving. Yes, into the next stage. That I am now a social being, capable of caring for others and getting out of my own selfish shell. It's a nice feeling, although it often feels weird. For how long I can deprive myself of that filthy habit, I honestly dont know. What I know now is that I'm doing this not for myself, but for those I love.

Naks.